~*~ JONATHAN COLLINS ~*~
The Man. The Myth. The Rectangle.
WARNING: SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION FOREVER!!!
WHO IS HE???
Jonathan Collins was born in a thunderstorm inside a library. He does not sleep, he merely "buffers." Scientists say his DNA is 40% helium.
~ FUN FACTS ~
- He invented the color "Beige."
- He once beat a brick wall in a staring contest.
- His tears are carbonated (Source: THE COLLINS JUICE).
- He owns 400 left shoes but no rights.
!!! IMPORTANT HEALTH NOTICE !!!
Have you ingested the COLLINS JUICE today?
Symptoms of low Collins Juice levels include:
- Thinking normally
- Walking in straight lines
- Not vibrating
GET JUICED OR GET LOST.
THE PROPHECY
It is said that on the day the internet runs out of space, Jonathan will descend on a cloud made of floppy disks and offer everyone a sip of the Forbidden Collins Juice.
| JONATHAN'S FAVORITE THINGS | |
| Food | Uncooked Pasta |
| Activity | Standing very still |
| Liquid | COLLINS JUICE |
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Copyright 1998 - The Jonathan Fan Club (Webmaster: Dave)